Good and Bad

After my post last night, Rebekah had another bradicardia at around 1 AM. Other than the 2 yesterday, she hasn't had any since immediately after her g tube surgery. So, for me, this is a big deal. The on call cardiologist, Dr. Cammock, came in this morning and tried to argue with me about the way she had her heart decelerations. I told her how I saw it happen and she argued that I saw it wrong. She also told me, again,how she wanted to send Rebekah home soon. I told her I did not think it was a good idea because of the episodes yesterday and she said she would review the data (all of it is saved on the computers) and come back. She never came back. That was in the morning. This afternoon, around 4 pm, the care coordinator, the person who orders the home health supplies when a patient is going home, came to get my information and to talk to me about her going home on oxygen tomorrow. I was shocked. I was never spoken to about a set day for discharge and I know that she can't go home on iv Lasix and she gets worse on oral Lasix and they can't send her home on an air blender (machine that blows air into the lungs at whatever O2 % you set it for). I told the lady this and she said I was right so she would go talk to the doctor and come back. She came back and said the doctor did not realize that she couldn't go home on the blender. When I told the coordinator about how Dr. Cammock had been saying Rebekah needs to go home since Monday and how she never listens to me and argues with things I tell her, she referred me to Service Excellence. A girl from Service Excellence who is a patient advocate came down to talk to me, took notes, and then went to talk to Dr. Cammock. Dr. Cammock told the patient advocate that she had no plans to discharge Rebekah until Saturday at the earliest and that she came back to tell me what she found and that I was asleep. I was eating breakfast when she left, so I wasn't asleep. She then sent her resident in here to tell me that the Bradys from yesterday were not a big deal and were nothing to worry about. I was already stressed and mad and super stressed and, did I mention that I was stressed? So, when he said this to me, the mother of this very fragile child, a mother who is scared that her daughter might depart at the slightest mishap, I kind of blew a fuse. I asked him if he had kids. He said yes. I asked if any of them were or had ever been sickly or frail and he said no. Then I told him that until he had been the parent of a sickly or fragile child that he had no right to tell me that anything I deemed important was no big deal and that if I said it was something of concern, then it is. He argued that he was a doctor and I countered that he was a resident and that I didn't care what Dr. Cammock had told him to say. Then I asked what Dr. Walsh (her primary cardiologist) thought and he said he didn't know because he hadn't talked to him. That's when Dr. Cammock came to the door an asked him to come out to talk to him outside before they talked to me. My dad showed up then so I brought him back and filled him in on what he was about to see if Dr. Cammock came back in the room. I decided that I would allow her the chance to apologize for making mistakes and for lying, but when she came in she started off by saying that I had misunderstood. I asked if the care coordinator had also misunderstood and she said yes. I then called her out on having been trying to push Revekah out the door all week and she started trying to back track on what she said and them told me I heard her wrong for 3 days in a row. Then she changed her story to say that what she said wasn't what she meant. At that point, any calm, collectiveness that I may have been holding on to by very thin threads shredded and I told her very clearly, through tears and gritted teeth, that I never wanted to see her near my child again and that I wanted her to leave. She stood there, said ok, then continued to stand and stare at me. I then told her that I wanted her to get out right then and she she almost ran into the wall trying to get out. I have never been so angry in all my life and I have never spoken to another human being the way I spoke to her. My dad said he had never heard anyone speak to a doctor that way and that he had never seen me that mad. I can honestly say that I had a righteous anger I ever there was one. She never listened to anything I said, never took my opinion of my daughter's condition seriously, and then lied about what she had said and done. I cannot believe she was in charge of my daughter's health on any level. I would also say that I am proud that, in retro spect, my behavior in no way encumbered my witness as a Christian because Rebekah was given to me (and Matthew) to care for and that is what I was doing. Her nurse was infuriated that Dr. Cammock was even considering sending her home, so I feel even better knowing that I was not alone in my assessment of her state of health. In conclusion, with the exception of being congested for most of the day, Rebekah had a great day. I had an overall good day with the exception of a stupid cardiologist road bump.